About Cats, Dogs and Relationships

Answer number 2 responds to the query: "What the hell is WRONG with her (or him)?"

And the answer is, simply, that men are like dogs and women are like cats. This premise terribly maligns our four legged friends, but, hey, it really is a pretty good comparison generally speaking.

First of all, women as a whole are very much like cats. They want to be cuddled only when THEY want to be cuddled. If you try to snuggle up with them when they're not in the mood, look out. Women, like cats, are also dependently independent (or independently dependent, whichever works for you). They want their freedom and are fiercely independent, but really like knowing that there is a warm lap to cuddle up on when somebody throws water on them or a big, bad pitbull behind them to rip somebody's face off if kitty's mouth is bigger than her claws. Cats, and women, are smart, tricky and manipulative. They'll lay on their back and give you a "come hither and scratch my tummy" look and then strike so fast when you reach to tickle them that you don't know what hit you until you see the blood dripping off your fingers. Ahh, but you keep coming back for more, don't you? They're soft and cuddly and they know cute little tricks and ways to throw you off your game. Life is never boring with either a cat or a woman. Because, if life does get boring, they'll get the crazies and stir things up a bit. Or just pack up and leave you for a better lap or a meaner guard dog. Go figure.

Men, on the other hand, are like dogs. They like to lie around and watch the world go by putting forth as little effort as possible. They are totally into instant gratification, and anything that feels good. They're always ready to slobber all over you or knock you over with their rough and ready playing. They like to eat, lay around and do incredibly stupid things that they think are fun. Dogs chase a stick and then bring it back so you can throw it again so that they can chase it again, ad infinitum. Men drink until they get sick. Wow, what fun. Off color and tasteless jokes are hysterical. Dogs lick their, well, you know. Men would, too, if they could....and they'd wonder why you thought that was a bad thing. Huhhhh? They're also loyal - at least they think they are. They'll always come back to you but it might be after they followed someone else around for a while. After all, they know where the food and the warm bed are. And once again, they wonder why you think that's a bad thing. Oy.

Well, you catch my drift about cats and dogs and men and women. Dogs are basically easy to train because they're so predictable. Cats are nearly impossible to train because they are so UNpredictable (predictably unpredictable if you will). For instance, you can train your husband to put the toilet seat down but can you train your wife to put it up? Think about it.
You heard it here first, even if you didn't want to. What do you expect for 2 cents these days?

The Empress